Another post from the series of emails that I sent in 2014 as we navigated starting an IVF cycle….
This morning I “should” be studying for my broker’s test (tomorrow, yikes!), but I am trusting that a bit of studying today and the loads of classes that I took will carry me thru rather than a massive cram session as this journey leaves me feeling a bit winded today. We are both trying to be brave thru each step. Yesterday was the training session, which meant that we got to see just how many shots I would have to take. Since we are on this fast track thing, I just simply do not have time to do a lot of internet research or anything, which is probably a really good thing. I have only the bandwidth for the information that they give me at each appointment, which right now feels like a lot of appointments since I have seen them 4 out of the last 8 days. It looks like I will take up to 3 shots each evening starting on the 21st. The first 5 days will likely only be 1 or 2 shots.
I honestly have far more respect for people that do this while working full-time now. I always knew that for me working full-time and going thru this sounded quite daunting, now I know why. I feel very lucky that I have this bit of time where my only responsibilities are to take care of myself (and our lucky 13) and study. It is nice to be able to get up in the morning and make us a smoothie and pack lunches and be on my own schedule, which is decidedly slower pace right now.
Your words of wisdom and inspiration continue to carry me thru. I am relishing in the phone call yesterday with one of you as I drove home. I got to the end of the appointment and felt like I had been bombarded with so much information, so it was calming to have a good chat.
Thankful for the fact that D and I process information differently (I took notes and he wanted hands on experience) as there was simply so much information to take in and she seemed to be moving at lightening speed. I know this probably was not true and she has offered to walk us thru everything again next Wednesday when I have my actual meds in hand, but it felt fast.
I have decided that my tears at the end of the appointments are simply from feeling like I have reached my fill of information and/or bravery. They are not tears of sadness, tears of overwhelm yes, tears of hope most definitely. We have been praying a lot, every night at dinner and reading a passage from The Grateful Table (wonderful, wonderful book)