I see a lightness in you now that was lost as we struggled.
I see a lightness in myself that I could not find as we struggled. I am not as weighed down by the depression and anxiety that plagued me deeply.
I also see the pain; I see the pain of the weight of this decision that did not come lightly for either of us.
Your anger is gone though, so I have faith that once you work thru the grief that you will be happier.
You are a kind and gentle man who deserves the greatest happiness.
Am I sad that you couldn’t find it with me? Yes, of course, more than sad, it breaks my heart.
The calm after the storm feels sad as well.
After we made the decision, I loved being able to enjoy time together again – socializing and encouraging each other to become our best selves, separately.
I know that is not true now, but maybe in time we will find that again, maybe not too.
I am sorry too that I could not find my own happiness within our marriage. I became broken and I did not know how to fix it.
Our earlier separations while living together were just not enough to find our own happiness. I wonder if we had truly been able to separate, if things would be different now.
The Bay Area lifestyle, the rat race, the stretching so much to buy our first house that there we really could not make other choices without bankrupting ourselves…
When we negotiated our move to Phoenix, I said to my therapist at the time that I did not know if our relationship would survive the move yet I felt the desert calling me. I also liked the idea of a lower cost of living where I could still sustain owning a home.
We found a great home here. It is truly great. I love it. It makes me sad to think you will not be here to share it.
You said to me once that you did not want to renew our vows as you got married once. I think that plays a part in deciding that divorce is ultimately the best option for us.
We need to break ourselves completely in order to find ourselves; the only way that can be done is divorce.
You were my first love. I truly do not know if I will find another love, but I want to believe in the magic of falling in love, the idea that a relationship will work again.
I also needed to believe this for you to make this choice. I believe that you will have another great love, that a woman will be good to you and for you once you heal yourself.
Meeting with the mediator and reading our answers to the good-bye questions from our therapist in the closing session on the day before Valentine’s Day was mind-blowingly heartbreaking.
I thought I knew hurt until I experienced that. I did not know the hurt of a broken heart until then. I know it now.
I want your next lover to enjoy traveling and adventuring with you, so you may continue to explore the world.
Nurture your soul.
Be kind to yourself and others, especially on the bad days, be even more kind on the bad days.
Experience joy, even in the mundane like chores.
Seek joy. If the slow road means more joy, take the slow road.
Experiences matter, choose experiences that make your heart sing.
Care, about the small stuff, the stuff you do not think matters, care about that more than you think you should as people notice people who care.