A few months ago a friend said that they experience FOMO. I had to ask what FOMO meant. Apparently, I can understand things like DVT without looking it up, but when it comes to slang or abbreviations in texting then I need help understanding.
FOMO or fear of missing out for those of you also not in the know is apparently something I completely lack that this time. Currently I have no fear. It is an odd feeling. I used to experience fear in spades. I would not go down challenging ski runs, I was hesitant in my figure skating, pretty much risk adverse.
There were moments where I would test limits, but for most of my life I have been a goody two shoes with a streak of badass.
Recently, I attended a women in leadership seminar where one of the ice breaking questions was: what 3 things would you take if your house was on fire? You could not list your dog as that was assumed to go with you. I could not come up with 3 things.
Complete and utter detachment. Things just don’t have the same meaning any more. Maybe when you take the biggest relationship in your life and rip it to shreds, then fear goes out the window with the attachment.
Over the last few months as I stuck to my soft list, I became somewhat of an adrenaline junkie with my pleasure list hunting. My friend encouraged me to make a pleasure list to get me thru the year after divorce to balance the bad with things that make me feel good.
Some of the list includes simple things like colors, reading, aerial yoga, figure skating, etc. Last week I rediscovered go kart racing and it has been a blast and a half. I am extremely competitive and knocked two seconds off my fastest time already.
Adding to my soft list at the moment: if I think there is a chance that we might actually have a good relationship down the road, then I am not going to involve you in my life right now. I am in churn and burn mode – behaving like a 22 year old with 37 year old sensibilities. Getting back to adulting by doing things like securing health insurance, etc.
My comfort zone right now is with my wing women and our gay besties. My propensity to get into trouble (cause trouble?) is significantly less when I am with any of my wing women or our gay besties. Playing barefoot ping pong with a gay bestie? So much fun.
Oh and the bonus of making my own rules? I can break any of them at any time. 🙂