Experience is the best teacher. Sometimes we are lucky to learn a lesson after the first experience while other times we need to learn the same lesson repeatedly until it sticks.
Over the last year, I learned the difference between healthy and unhealthy love. I did not learn this lesson from any of the guys that I saw rather I learned it from my girlfriends and framily. For years, I was not myself. I kept trying to adapt to see if I could improve a bad situation by changing myself. Ultimately, I came to understand that I liked the person under all of those layers best.
She is snarky, no bullshit, confident, fun, competitive, athletic and more. At her heart, she is compassionate and the kinda friend you want around on your bad days as well as your good. It took the last year of endless time with girls that allowed me the room to come into this self awareness and fully embrace it.
Earlier this week, I had the opportunity to sit with two friends and experience friend love in a way that was beautiful.
In my 20s, I checked the boxes of having a relationship, getting married, buying a house and even trying for a baby. I sought these things to make me happy. The thing is that seeking to check the boxes made me miserable, utterly miserable.
Now, boxes are not to be checked. Experiences are meant to be enjoyed. The only constant is change, which means that you will never know how much time a friendship or relationship is meant to last. It is strange to me to go from the girl who always wanted to know what was next in a relationship to the girl that just wants to enjoy it while it is in her life.
The blessing in this last year is I now can fully experience and appreciate being loved and loving well.